So, after my most excellent trip to Houston last week (see
http://www.patsdeepintheheart.blogspot.com/) I was going to post some pictures of the antique stained glass windows and patriotic roundtop collection things I brought home with me. However, my USB cable for my camera is missing. If you know where it is let me know?!? In my house-wide hunt to find the pesky cable, I found 4 tape recorders and 7 calculators (anyone need a sweet graphing calculator?), but no USB cable. Darn. So, pictures will have to wait. Needless to say my windows are going to look excellent (despite comments to the contrary made by the peanut gallery) and I have the cutest/most patriotic porch on the block. Too bad the yard looks like a Vietnamese jungle. But that's not my responsibility...trash and yard work are two things that fall under the category of "man-work," so I can only hope that my yard will be less than a foot tall in the next 2-3 days. I am not placing any bets on it though. We still haven't sprung for a real lawnmower and that old fashioned push mower is a workout.
Anyways, I had a most stressful morning this morning. I was called for JURY DUTY. AHHHHHHHHHH! Not just normal jury duty...federal court jury duty. Now, being a lawyer I always find the courthouse interesting. But NOT for a three week trial that would have cost me more in lost wages than the fine for not showing up to jury duty. (You are only required by law to be paid by your employer for 3 days of jury duty...after that you are on your own). Did you know that the government pays a whopping $40/day to serve on a jury? (Oh and P.S. Uncle Sam taxes the 40 bucks). So, the thought of not being able to pay my mortgage this month had me a little bit apprehensive in going to court this morning. Anyways, I got to the federal courthouse at 7am with an already nervous stomach exacerbated by the sway of the light rail, fervently praying to be instantaneously dismissed. No such luck. After sitting around for a couple of hours getting progressively more nervous me and my 59 other friends got sent to the courtroom for voir dire. Unfortunately, I got called up to the jury box in the first group (yepI got to be the girl who passed around the microphone). After a bunch of yes/no questions we got around to the stuff I really wanted to talk about with the judge namely, Luke and my jobs (I am thinking lawyer/cop = instantaneous dismissal). Did you know that people with cop relationships come out of the woodworks in a jury selection situation? The girl sitting 4 down from me was related to a cop through her fiance's stepsister's second cousin. Seriously? If you want to go there I can pull cop relationship's out of the woodworks also. I stuck to the most important one...namely my husband is a cop.
So, no instant dismissal for the cop husband (shoot). Next we had to go through our individual backgrounds. I made sure to mention that I moved to Denver to go to law school, was a student attorney with the criminal clinic, etc. Important as I would have been sitting for a criminal case. The judge asked questions regarding whether I thought I could take instruction from him on points of law I might think I know better (I didn't think it appropriate to mention that two weeks after the bar I forgot all relevant points of law so anything he told me would be news to me). After my personal background I was thinking to myself HA - now I am definitely going to be dismissed. But then two people down there was an attorney who has been practicing since 1967 and to top that he was a retired FEDERAL JUDGE. Argggghhhhhh.
Four rounds of challenges, serious sweaty palms, and 30-45 minutes of shooting the defense attorney the stink eye I finally got dismissed. THANK GOODNESS! I don't think I will ever be so happy to go back to work as I am going to be tomorrow. Regardless, the things you hear in jury selection are vastly entertaining...(and these are from memory not directly from the transcript)
Judge: What do your children do?
Lady Juror: My daughter is 32 and graduated from metro state with a degree in criminal justice. She was going to graduate and be in the FBI, but she works at Best Buy. My son is 21...he is...well he's confused.
Judge: Is there any reason you can't serve on a jury?
Man Juror: I am a Christian and I can't judge people.
Judge: You're dismissed
(If I had known that would work I would have been all over it)
Judge: Is there any reason you can't serve on a jury?
Mom Juror: I fed my 11 year old and 7 year old breakfast and then left them home alone.
Judge: You're dismissed (but you know he really wanted to say please leave now).
Judge: Do you know anyone in the courtroom?
Juror to my left: Yep, the prosecutor.
Judge: Where do you know him from?
Juror to my left: I don't know.
Judge to prosecutor: Do you know this man?
Prosecutor: Ummm no.
Judge to 18 year old juror: Do you have any children?
18 year old juror: None that I can think of.
Judge to 18 year old juror: Son, that's not something you want to say on the record.
Judge to Ipod Juror: Have you ever been convicted of anything other than a minor traffic offense?
Ipod Juror: Giving liquor to a minor
Judge: So, you bought liquor for a minor?
Ipod juror: No, I work at a liquor store and accidentally sold liquor to a minor with a fake ID
Judge: (
Incredulously) Did you have counsel?
Ipod Juror: No sir
Judge:
scoffs and shakes his headJudge: Do you have any relationships that would affect your ability to impartially decide this case?
Union Representative Juror: I have friends that are attorneys.
Judge: It's nice to know that us attorneys have some friends.
Court Clerk: These pens are government issued. That means they probably won't work.
If it wasn't for the financial hardship aspect I would have loved to hear some more!
